Saturday, February 14, 2009

Habeus Corpus

What, may I ask, have you seen in sun? Have you found salvation? Are you a saved man? Have all your dreams and aspirations been realized?

It’s simply not true. There is no such thing as a market crash. Your society has trained you to believe these illusions and panic over every shift from your comfort zone. Just because you can’t see your face doesn’t mean it’s not there. For the world will live in shambles until we discover a supernatural being. The uncovering of the Loch Ness monster will reveal the truth of life. Once Bigfoot is on display in the Brooklyn zoo, we can finally sleep at night. Who knew a size 24 foot would be the solution to the fuel crisis. A goat genocide really will bring us a lifetime of world peace: if you can gut a mouthful of four leaf clovers, you’ll never get sick again. Seriously. Blissful expressions come from kissable kittens. Why? The machines know. Telepathic machines. Mathematical machines. Machines with arms. Machines with fans. Machines with pans. Cooking machines. Is that so abstract? Perhaps not, but it still cooks. And if it cooks, it’s my friend. Friends cook for friends, and if Mr. Machine cooks for me, he is my friend.

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